If You Think His Writing Is Wild, Check Out His Art!

Precious Ones,

Of all the letters I received, I was most intrigued by that of Las Vegas artist Lee Orona, co-owner of 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery (where we just happen to be performing on Friday, May 4th). And so I will share his literary stylings with you. Before I do, however, upon reading Lee’s email, my tall friend Kathy said, "If it’s possible to accurately sum up somebody’s personality in an email, this is it."

So here it is, dolls, words of wisdom from the spectacular Lee Orona:

"billy , billy, billy , billy , billy , billy,you are the shrimp in my cocktail, you are the jack in my cracker jack.your the stolen picasso,of course you can be a flat tire on interstate 80 too, but as mygreat uncle bernardo de la goatee orona said,, while eating pancakes one morning while vacationing in katmando with my auntie , actually my forth auntie an ex stripper by the the name of juanita jones montoya de la cruz.... who went by the name of betty hips nabronski. my uncle said ... you know ,,, you just got to use jet fuel sometime and run them beautiful motherfuckers over ..they will thank you in the morning for one hell of a good time.pass the pancakes....break a leg guys, unit 2"

After reading that, how can you possibly not check out 3rd Street Revolution Gallery?

First Friday at

3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery

224 Imperial Ave.

Las Vegas, NV

with

Billy Dare & The Pumps

Showtime 7:30pm

We will be doing our informal, anything-goes gallery show where we try out new material, play material that isn't included in the Fabulous Miss Billy Dare Show and more. It's always a fab time.

Of course, if you want all the costumes, give-aways and hoopla, don't forget we'll be at E-String Grill, 2031 W. Sunset, Henderson, NV on Monday, April 30th at 8pm.

Until then, Stay Fabulous!

All The Best People Are Coming...

Good Afternoon, Baby Dolls!

I will keep it short and sweet – a phrase, my darlings, we absolutely hope to never hear our lovers use!

Alas, start planning your outfits now, as our Swanky Society is destined to meet again for The Fabulous Miss Billy Dare Show on Monday, April 30th at the E-String Grill on 2031 W. Sunset in Henderson, NV at 8:15pm. We’ve got some naughty new songs and other events to tempt and titillate you.

Plus, as I write these very words, a new fabulously festive, basic black frock is being made for me. Of course since it’s not finished yet, I can’t promise how it will look on. I mean, oh-woe, but I could end up looking like a knish wrapped in tarpaper. However, you’ll never know unless you show… so see you there, and

Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy

The Thrill Is Gone...

Daaaarlings, I am deathly bored! Since I don’t pay my bills until I get shut off notices, I spent my entire day running around the city writing checks like Imelda Marcos at a shoe sale. Honestly, I need a secretary… and a maid, and a stylist… it just never ends! In 48 hours I’ve gone from giddy and gay to bored and frazzled. Oh woe!

During my bill-paying travels (driving the shit-box band van) I decided the time has come to upgrade my vehicular image a bit. I tried to buy this snappy little vintage number – a BMW convertible – but the owner is not selling. So then I saw this wonderful vintage Mercedes 450 SL in a parking lot and was all agog. Sadly that wasn’t for sale either. The guy I was with said if I could find an old Ford nearby he could use the dipstick to steal the car for me. Naturally I refused the offer, but found myself questioning the company I keep. He also told me how to turn fruit cocktail snack cups into booze – a popular trick he learned in prison. Alas, I’ve got all this newfound knowledge, but still no car.

In other news, I fear I’m becoming a Cyclops. In a frenzied quest for a divine, youthful complexion, I think I used a little toooooo much product on my face over the weekend and now have a rash-like blemish mid-forehead. Maybe I should just cut some bumper-bangs and go around like it’s the 1960’s… or maybe I should just stop buying (and using) every beauty enhancement product on the market. I’m not getting any more beautiful and I’m starting to feel like a laboratory test rat.

Well, doll-babies, I have nothing of monumental proportions to report today… other than my butt… which was exposed to a group of Mexican school kids when my skirt blew up over my head in the Wal-Mart parking lot on Nellis this afternoon. Clearly they will be scarred for life!

And with that, remember…

Stay Fabulous!

Some Things Are Tooooo Fabulous!

Oh daaaarlings, it has been forever, hasn’t it? It seems ever since I bailed on that dinner show gig and went back to more familiar surroundings, my career and social life have been sparkling! Now if I can only get the diet part in control, my life will be positively marvelous.

We’ve been playing about town – two favorites are: Ezequiel Lee Orona and Juan Ybarra’s 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery on the corner of 3rd and Imperial (we play there on the first Friday of every month) and the E-String Poker Bar & Grill in Henderson where we play about once a month for Comedy Night. We’ll be there again on Monday, April 30th, showtime 8pm. It’s a positively fun venue, sweet-peas, where you can eat, drink, smoke, gamble, hear live music, peruse the rock memorabilia collection and even buy a vintage guitar during store hours. Come down and catch the show!

Other than flitting about the desert to fabulous soirees and mini-socials here and there, I went out to E-String last night with Todd, Mikey & Kathy to check out a friend’s band, No Limit. I don’t know whose band it is, but I do know that the ever-adorable Bernie Hamburger plays guitar in it – and expertly to boot, dear-hearts. Since he actually builds the amazing guitars he plays, I can even forgive the fact that it was a cover band, which as you know, is an enormously humbling step for me! But all kidding aside, they were very good and worth catching.

Meanwhile, as the band played and the cocktails flowed, I put on my, "Campaign Face," as Lou calls it, and met a host of fabulous people – Megan, Robert, Jason, Jim, Chuck, Seth, Luke -- and a handful of other not-particularly-interesting folks whose names I can’t recall. I also had the opportunity to catch up with Bernie's wife, Diane, which is always a pleasure.

But Wait! This is so strange! As I write, the television is on in the background playing some old movie called, The Bad Seed. I just caught a bit of the dialog…, "I’ll miss your kisses, Daddy. You’re so big and strong." I think I said that to some guy at the club last night. I guess I shouldn’t have wandered off on my own and gotten that third C.C. & Soda! But then had I not, I probably wouldn't have been blind-sided by the full-tongue lip lock of a particularly influential man-about-town. For career advancement reasons, I cannot mention his name.

Anyway, I was dead on my feet this morning and clearly sure I would die. One glance in the mirror convinced me homicide would have been a mercy killing if carried out by an empathetic friend. Neverthelass, dolls, I fixed my face, got dressed and changed my shirt a couple times because I drooled toothpaste on my first one, then was off to a backyard BBQ at the home of Penny, Steve, Kathy & Patrick. It was quite a delightful event, though my wit and personality were both severely compromised as a result of the toooo fabulous night before.

Speaking of being compromised, clearly my ability to write is suffering the effects of too much fun as well, so I will end now.
As Always… Stay Fabulous!