Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Ongoing Drama of Mikey Pump...
Sweethearts!
I am much too lazy to tell you of the most recent Mikey Pump debacle here, but you can read all about it on my MySpace blog.
Click Here to go to our page and then select: Mikey Pump Tragedy: The Bed of Beer, third box down in the right column.
It's true dolls: He did it again!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOX
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Does Anybody Actually Read This Thing????
Hey Sugar Babies!
Seeing that I promised to post to this blog more often, I was sitting here wondering what to write when I had a thought... Does anybody actually read this thing? And while I'm at it... Does anybody actually visit the bezillion web sites I've put up to promote the band? I mean, seriously, with two blogs and about 8 band related web sites going on, I've come to a single conclusion. NOTE TO SELF: Get a life!
Seriously, while the internet is a magnificent invention, it is not without it's hindrances. Only moments ago, while involved in this wretched blogging adventure, I smelled something burning... dinner! And that's most certainly not the worst of it. There's the flat-ass-hunched-over-bleary-eyed-smoke-a-pack-of-cigarettes-an-hour side to the whole thing as well. Daaaarlings, I'm a positive wreck!
Well, I shouldn't complain as I have a band... a truly wonderful group of guys who I absolutely adore working with. To be honest, cupcakes, I'm gleefully giddy over my current situation. Todd, Mikey and Mikelvan totally rock! You clearly MUST come to our next show and see for yourself... Friday, November 7th on the Land Rover Stage near the intersection of Casino Center and Colorado. There is a $2 admission charge and we are on from 7pm to 7:45pm.
After that we'll most likely stop over at 3rd Street Revolution Gallery as it is that wacky-artist-musician guy, Lee Orona's, birthday! Hope to see you all. Until then,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
Seeing that I promised to post to this blog more often, I was sitting here wondering what to write when I had a thought... Does anybody actually read this thing? And while I'm at it... Does anybody actually visit the bezillion web sites I've put up to promote the band? I mean, seriously, with two blogs and about 8 band related web sites going on, I've come to a single conclusion. NOTE TO SELF: Get a life!
Seriously, while the internet is a magnificent invention, it is not without it's hindrances. Only moments ago, while involved in this wretched blogging adventure, I smelled something burning... dinner! And that's most certainly not the worst of it. There's the flat-ass-hunched-over-bleary-eyed-smoke-a-pack-of-cigarettes-an-hour side to the whole thing as well. Daaaarlings, I'm a positive wreck!
Well, I shouldn't complain as I have a band... a truly wonderful group of guys who I absolutely adore working with. To be honest, cupcakes, I'm gleefully giddy over my current situation. Todd, Mikey and Mikelvan totally rock! You clearly MUST come to our next show and see for yourself... Friday, November 7th on the Land Rover Stage near the intersection of Casino Center and Colorado. There is a $2 admission charge and we are on from 7pm to 7:45pm.
After that we'll most likely stop over at 3rd Street Revolution Gallery as it is that wacky-artist-musician guy, Lee Orona's, birthday! Hope to see you all. Until then,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Ooooh Babies... Into S&M?
Good Morning, Love Muffins!
When all else fails, darlings, it appears bribery becomes my final alternative... and so I do what I must!
If you're into S&M... and honestly who isn't these days?... your whip (I mean ship) has come in. I've just loaded our Fan Exclusive song, "It's So Romantic," into our ReverbNation player. And what that means is, if you're not a fan, you can't hear it. But fret not, dumplings, it's easy to become a fan. All you have to do is visit our band profile on ReverbNation, join the mailing list or become a fan and... Voila! You're in for an audio spanking!
Now Mikey Pump is positively horrified that I would make, "It's So Romantic," available for anybody to hear. He maintains that it is rather sloppy and somewhat ill-arranged. Now for the most part, I agree with that. It is an older song written in a style that we are not known for. But... and I do mean a big butt... I maintain Mikey doesn't want you to hear this song because, lyrically, it is much too revealing... hmmmm?
So bend over, Babies, and as always,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
When all else fails, darlings, it appears bribery becomes my final alternative... and so I do what I must!
If you're into S&M... and honestly who isn't these days?... your whip (I mean ship) has come in. I've just loaded our Fan Exclusive song, "It's So Romantic," into our ReverbNation player. And what that means is, if you're not a fan, you can't hear it. But fret not, dumplings, it's easy to become a fan. All you have to do is visit our band profile on ReverbNation, join the mailing list or become a fan and... Voila! You're in for an audio spanking!
Now Mikey Pump is positively horrified that I would make, "It's So Romantic," available for anybody to hear. He maintains that it is rather sloppy and somewhat ill-arranged. Now for the most part, I agree with that. It is an older song written in a style that we are not known for. But... and I do mean a big butt... I maintain Mikey doesn't want you to hear this song because, lyrically, it is much too revealing... hmmmm?
So bend over, Babies, and as always,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
Friday, October 24, 2008
A Little Favor, Honey-Pies?
Daaaarling Ones!
Alas it is with great hope that I ask you this teeny-tiny favor. Please sign up for our mailing list! Just imagine the pride you will feel when you say to your friends, "I'm on the Billy Dare & The Pumps Mailing List!" They will positively chortle with glee and say..., "Who cares?" But, dumplings, that is not the point. The point is that we moved up from 29 slots overnight on the ReverbNation comedy act charts (from #90 to #61) and YOU can help us go higher. Now, I realize these are not the Billboard Charts. On the contrary, these charts basically monitor the success of the band's internet marketing campaign. It takes into consideration how many people visit our various web sites, how many listen to our songs, how many buy our music and how many sign up for our mailing list, ranking our efforts among other like-acts... and dammit... I want to be #1! So if you'd just take a second and enter your email address into the Join Our Mailing List Box in the column to the left, I PROMISE you will receive nothing more than the band newsletter every month or so... and my devotion.
Have wonderful weekend and, as always,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
Alas it is with great hope that I ask you this teeny-tiny favor. Please sign up for our mailing list! Just imagine the pride you will feel when you say to your friends, "I'm on the Billy Dare & The Pumps Mailing List!" They will positively chortle with glee and say..., "Who cares?" But, dumplings, that is not the point. The point is that we moved up from 29 slots overnight on the ReverbNation comedy act charts (from #90 to #61) and YOU can help us go higher. Now, I realize these are not the Billboard Charts. On the contrary, these charts basically monitor the success of the band's internet marketing campaign. It takes into consideration how many people visit our various web sites, how many listen to our songs, how many buy our music and how many sign up for our mailing list, ranking our efforts among other like-acts... and dammit... I want to be #1! So if you'd just take a second and enter your email address into the Join Our Mailing List Box in the column to the left, I PROMISE you will receive nothing more than the band newsletter every month or so... and my devotion.
Have wonderful weekend and, as always,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOXO
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's Like Potato Salad...
Oy Vey, Cupcakes! I have waaaaaaaaaay too many blogs and web sites going! I have the band blog at: http://myspace.com/billydarethepumps and this one, plus ALL of the web sites! Now I am not exactly sure why I am the one in the band who is responsible for internet promotions. Certainly I'm not technologically gifted, nor do I particularly enjoy working in the cyberspace medium, but such is my lot in life... and it all came about much like it did when I became the official potato salad person at every freakin' family function.
It began when my now deceased Aunt Millie (who had always been the official potato salad person), cleverly crafted the ultimate deception when I asked her for her recipe. I suppose, in retrospect, I should have been suspect of both her eagerness to share her recipe as well as her insistence upon showing me how to prepare it... but I was young and naive. So, with quite a bit of fanfare, I got together with my Aunt Millie to learn the "secret" recipe. Shortly into the preparation, I realized there was no "secret" at all... it was just potato salad. But by that point the transition of responsibility had shifted. From that point onward, Aunt Millie was off the hook and I became the extended family's potato salad bitch.
Now you've all heard the phrase, "Do it to me once, shame on you. Do it to me twice, shame on me," haven't you? Well, what follows that? Do it to me three times and I'm a freakin' imbecile? If so, I'm a freakin' imbecile! You think I would have learned with the potato salad, but NO! Next came the jello shots. It began quite innocently. I was having a little soiree and thought it might be fun to offer jello shots to the guests. I'd never made, nor do I like, jello shots, but what the hell? It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So (and here is where I must warn that you can never be too careful in precedent-setting activities) I asked Miss Kathy to bring the jello shots... which she did. Well, honey-pies, everybody positively LOVED them! With each chortle of, "These are divine!," I would respond, "Miss Kathy made them." Unfortunately nobody seemed to hear that part. We were, after all, at MY soiree and... well, you get the idea... from the family potato salad bitch, I've become the official bringer of jello shots to every social gala, soiree and what-not.
Seriously babies, how many animals must sacrifice their hooves so our set can enjoy their vodka in gelatinous technicolor? Alas, as it happened with the potato salad and the jello shots, I am now the band's internet bitch!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
It began when my now deceased Aunt Millie (who had always been the official potato salad person), cleverly crafted the ultimate deception when I asked her for her recipe. I suppose, in retrospect, I should have been suspect of both her eagerness to share her recipe as well as her insistence upon showing me how to prepare it... but I was young and naive. So, with quite a bit of fanfare, I got together with my Aunt Millie to learn the "secret" recipe. Shortly into the preparation, I realized there was no "secret" at all... it was just potato salad. But by that point the transition of responsibility had shifted. From that point onward, Aunt Millie was off the hook and I became the extended family's potato salad bitch.
Now you've all heard the phrase, "Do it to me once, shame on you. Do it to me twice, shame on me," haven't you? Well, what follows that? Do it to me three times and I'm a freakin' imbecile? If so, I'm a freakin' imbecile! You think I would have learned with the potato salad, but NO! Next came the jello shots. It began quite innocently. I was having a little soiree and thought it might be fun to offer jello shots to the guests. I'd never made, nor do I like, jello shots, but what the hell? It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So (and here is where I must warn that you can never be too careful in precedent-setting activities) I asked Miss Kathy to bring the jello shots... which she did. Well, honey-pies, everybody positively LOVED them! With each chortle of, "These are divine!," I would respond, "Miss Kathy made them." Unfortunately nobody seemed to hear that part. We were, after all, at MY soiree and... well, you get the idea... from the family potato salad bitch, I've become the official bringer of jello shots to every social gala, soiree and what-not.
Seriously babies, how many animals must sacrifice their hooves so our set can enjoy their vodka in gelatinous technicolor? Alas, as it happened with the potato salad and the jello shots, I am now the band's internet bitch!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
It's All About Mikey!
Daaaarlings!
Horror of all horrors! Just when I thought I'd found the PERFECT magazine diet... which I followed to the letter for three days, mind you... I hop on the scale this morning and gained three pounds! Think about it... three pounds in three days. If I stayed on it for a year, I'd gain 365 pounds! Clearly this diet was a viscous hoax engineered by snarly, thin girls who wanted to ensure that there would be no competition for the Size 2's on the retail rack. But seriously, muffins, I am soooooo mad!
Meanwhile, band practice has come to a grinding halt. Several months ago, when absolutely nothing spectacular was happening with the band, Mikey Pump planned a trip to visit relatives in the east. Well, I dropped him off at McCarren at the crack of dawn today and just received a text that he's landed safely. So I'm totally stressed because we have a gig coming up on November 7th and will be sans bass player for a week.
Aha! Maybe that's why I gained the three pounds... it's stress weight! Maybe there is no snarly, thin girl conspiracy! Maybe Mikey Pump is the mastermind behind this whole thing! Yeah, that's it. It's all about Mikey!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Horror of all horrors! Just when I thought I'd found the PERFECT magazine diet... which I followed to the letter for three days, mind you... I hop on the scale this morning and gained three pounds! Think about it... three pounds in three days. If I stayed on it for a year, I'd gain 365 pounds! Clearly this diet was a viscous hoax engineered by snarly, thin girls who wanted to ensure that there would be no competition for the Size 2's on the retail rack. But seriously, muffins, I am soooooo mad!
Meanwhile, band practice has come to a grinding halt. Several months ago, when absolutely nothing spectacular was happening with the band, Mikey Pump planned a trip to visit relatives in the east. Well, I dropped him off at McCarren at the crack of dawn today and just received a text that he's landed safely. So I'm totally stressed because we have a gig coming up on November 7th and will be sans bass player for a week.
Aha! Maybe that's why I gained the three pounds... it's stress weight! Maybe there is no snarly, thin girl conspiracy! Maybe Mikey Pump is the mastermind behind this whole thing! Yeah, that's it. It's all about Mikey!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wherever have I been?
Mikelvan -- Our New & Marvelous Drummer!
Ah My Precious Ones!
I realize it has been absolutely forever since I've written, but I've been soooooo busy. You see, in an effort to become more fit, I've taken up social climbing! From a former star of Minsky's burlesque theatre to the Queen of England's florist -- ok, perhaps the Queen herself would have been more or a coups -- I've been meeting the most fabulous people lately. But perhaps the most delightful of my most recent encounters is our new drummer, Mikelvan! Alas, baby-dolls, we are once a four-piece again and doors are opening left and right. So all is divine in Miss Billyville!
We've got a big show coming up on Friday, November 7th on the Land Rover Stage, located near the corner of Casino Center & Colorado in the Las Vegas Dowtown Art District. It is an outdoor venue and is being sponsored by the First Friday Organization. We are doing a short set from 7pm to 7:45pm. Admission to First Friday is a mere $2, so don't get cheap on me, cupcakes! Apparently they are expecting in excess of 7000 people which should be cool... or at the very least crowded.
Mostly I've been in a promotional frenzy, setting up web sites and online stores and all sorts of things to promote the band. Fortunately my efforts seem to be paying off... which makes the endless hours I've spent sitting on my ass in front of the computer somewhat more tolerable. So here are some links to the new sites:
Billy Dare & The Pumps: This is our main site and it's completely updated. We've added music, an online store and more.
Billy Dare & The Pumps MySpace Page: On this site you can listen to our songs, buy our songs, read my other blog and become our friend!
Billy Dare & The Pumps ReverbNation Page: Sign up for our mailing list here or join our street team, listen to and buy music... whatever... just more shameless promotion.
So angels... that's pretty much what's been up these days. I positively promise I will write more often... at least for a while. Until next time,
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Monday, May 12, 2008
Big Congrats To 3rd Street Revolution Gallery!
Precious Ones,
On Friday, June 6th, 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery will be celebrating its official one year anniversary! Soooooo marvelous, isn't it? Although the gallery actually opened in January of 2007, it wasn't until June 2nd of that year that artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra threw the official bash of all bashes. We played the grand opening gig a year ago and are absolutely delighted to be playing the first anniversary gala. So mark your calendars, honey-pies and be sure to join us!
Speaking of art, I was positively honored and delighted on May 2nd when Juan Ybarra gave me one of his original mobiles. As everybody knows, Juan is famed for his amazing work with metal, so to be the recipient of one of his much sought-after (and extraordinarily large) pieces is absolutely mind-blowing! Of course it is hanging in my "gallery room" which features the work of some of the most gifted artists in Las Vegas. Thank you so very much, Juan!
So the other night, bored to tears and looking for something fabulous to do, Miss Kathy and I decided to meet for a cocktail at Terribles Casino on Paradise since it is close to her house. Daaarlings! What a bizarre event! From the girl who fell off her chair while attempting to flash the entertainment -- she took a total digger -- to the trio of German tourists wearing lederhosen -- "Mein Gott, Slaw! I think I see the Swiss Miss!" -- it was like an unplanned excursion to Bizarroville. But I did have the pleasure of meeting Kevin Baker, a wonderfully talented and versatile Las Vegas entertainer. If you're visiting and looking for something fun to do, he's playing everyplace. I believe he is at The Riviera on The Strip beginning this Tuesday doing a daytime gig and then he's back to Terribles on Paradise the following week. Like I said, Miss Kathy and I did have cocktails, so I could have my dates wrong. Sorry, Kevin!
I was so-so-so-so thrilled to receive an email from John Burke (baby-dolls, you have no idea how difficult it is for me not to call him Johnny) owner of JB Audio Productions in Lowell, MA. Talk about a blast from the past! I worked with the talented (and very cute) John when he was an engineer at Big Rock Studio in Billerica, MA about 10 years ago. Anyway, the band and I were having a dreadful time mixing the songs. At one point I got bounced out of the control booth by the owner, Jim because the band couldn't stop arguing -- rebuked!!! So
there we were with about a dozen songs and we coudn't stop fighting long enough to mix a thing. Then one night we show up for a session and one of the songs is completely (and miraculously) mixed! John came in on his own time and did it for us -- a gesture for which I will forever be grateful -- though looking back he probably just did it because he couldn't bear the thought of spending an evening with me in the booth. The song was a silly little novelty number called, "Hoochie Blues," that I sang as one of my totally trampy characters (who I no longer do) called J'uanna Duet. So I get this email from John asking if he can use the song on his MySpace page and naturally I said he could. So if you would like to hear my old character J'uanna (the ditz) and my old band line-up with Todd, Duno and Julian... and to, of course, check out JB Audio Productions, just follow this link:
Alas, aside from the upcoming 3rd Street Revolution Anniversary Party and the recording of our new CD -- yet to be titled -- I haven't much more to tell you but that I adore you all.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
On Friday, June 6th, 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery will be celebrating its official one year anniversary! Soooooo marvelous, isn't it? Although the gallery actually opened in January of 2007, it wasn't until June 2nd of that year that artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra threw the official bash of all bashes. We played the grand opening gig a year ago and are absolutely delighted to be playing the first anniversary gala. So mark your calendars, honey-pies and be sure to join us!
Speaking of art, I was positively honored and delighted on May 2nd when Juan Ybarra gave me one of his original mobiles. As everybody knows, Juan is famed for his amazing work with metal, so to be the recipient of one of his much sought-after (and extraordinarily large) pieces is absolutely mind-blowing! Of course it is hanging in my "gallery room" which features the work of some of the most gifted artists in Las Vegas. Thank you so very much, Juan!
So the other night, bored to tears and looking for something fabulous to do, Miss Kathy and I decided to meet for a cocktail at Terribles Casino on Paradise since it is close to her house. Daaarlings! What a bizarre event! From the girl who fell off her chair while attempting to flash the entertainment -- she took a total digger -- to the trio of German tourists wearing lederhosen -- "Mein Gott, Slaw! I think I see the Swiss Miss!" -- it was like an unplanned excursion to Bizarroville. But I did have the pleasure of meeting Kevin Baker, a wonderfully talented and versatile Las Vegas entertainer. If you're visiting and looking for something fun to do, he's playing everyplace. I believe he is at The Riviera on The Strip beginning this Tuesday doing a daytime gig and then he's back to Terribles on Paradise the following week. Like I said, Miss Kathy and I did have cocktails, so I could have my dates wrong. Sorry, Kevin!
I was so-so-so-so thrilled to receive an email from John Burke (baby-dolls, you have no idea how difficult it is for me not to call him Johnny) owner of JB Audio Productions in Lowell, MA. Talk about a blast from the past! I worked with the talented (and very cute) John when he was an engineer at Big Rock Studio in Billerica, MA about 10 years ago. Anyway, the band and I were having a dreadful time mixing the songs. At one point I got bounced out of the control booth by the owner, Jim because the band couldn't stop arguing -- rebuked!!! So
there we were with about a dozen songs and we coudn't stop fighting long enough to mix a thing. Then one night we show up for a session and one of the songs is completely (and miraculously) mixed! John came in on his own time and did it for us -- a gesture for which I will forever be grateful -- though looking back he probably just did it because he couldn't bear the thought of spending an evening with me in the booth. The song was a silly little novelty number called, "Hoochie Blues," that I sang as one of my totally trampy characters (who I no longer do) called J'uanna Duet. So I get this email from John asking if he can use the song on his MySpace page and naturally I said he could. So if you would like to hear my old character J'uanna (the ditz) and my old band line-up with Todd, Duno and Julian... and to, of course, check out JB Audio Productions, just follow this link:
Alas, aside from the upcoming 3rd Street Revolution Anniversary Party and the recording of our new CD -- yet to be titled -- I haven't much more to tell you but that I adore you all.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Welcome Wagon From Hell
Daaaaaarlings!
Alas the warm weather has arrived here in Las Vegas -- a deceiving prelude to the blistering summer heat -- and I am looking 25 pounds thinner and feeling 25 pounds fatter in these new, unforgiving jeans. Whatever possessed me to buy a size small, I cannot say. Honestly, I feel like my ass is under attack by a boa constrictor. I keep thinking they'll stretch out a bit as I wear them, but thus far that is not the case. A better probability appears to be that the seams will just let go -- most likely somewhere in public, causing grown men to weep and children to be emotionally scarred for life. But alas, I am straying. As I was saying, the weather has warmed up and the pool is open, which leads to a whole new can of fat worms!
Now fat or thin (I go both ways), I have never been comfortable in a bathing suit. Like certain things that are best left unsaid, there are certain body parts that are better left unexposed. And even though the pool is surrounded by a stockade fence and I can swim in seemingly total privacy, there are the airplanes -- both commercial and Air Force -- that periodically fly overhead. Now granted, they are quite high, but if I can see them...! And let's be honest, dolls. Even from their high vantage point, I am sure they can tell the difference between a Semi and a Kia. So here are all these happy tourists flying into Las Vegas and the woe-begotten soul who gets the window seat looks down at me in the pool and shrieks, "Holy Shit! What's going on? I thought Las Vegas was filled with beautiful people. I saw it on the Travel Channel!"
To this I would have to say, "Honey... if there are so-called beautiful people in Las Vegas, they most assuredly came from someplace else." Finding a hottie in this town is comparable to finding somebody with a full set of teeth. There is an economy of both. Or maybe it's just my neighborhood that is a rife breeding ground for fat chicks with banana clipped perms, cut-off short shorts, too tight tees with Winnie the Pooh screens and knock-off Crocs. And their children -- they all have them, you know -- with their mullets and Nascar swag, are as dumb as stumps! It happens on a daily basis -- one just ambles in front of my car, dazed and drooling, forcing me to slam on the brakes. And still they meander along, oblivious to their near brush with death. Mikey Pump says it is because they can't hear the approaching vehicles over the foghorns -- disguised as thoughts -- that are constantly going off in their heads. Alas, it is certainly a far cry from what these unsuspecting tourists see on the Travel Channel! And as long as they do not venture off The Strip or get the window seat on the airplane, they can keep their mega-marketed Las Vegas illusion pristine.
Now sugar-babies, I just had an entertaining thought. What if some local Las Vegas bubba reads this, becomes offended and comes to my house to shoot me. They do sooooo love their guns, you know. And then I realize, they can't read!
I did have a point when I began, angel cakes, but now I've forgotten. I think, instead, I will go lounge in the pool for a bit and scare a few arriving tourists... sort of like the Welcome Wagon to Hell.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOX
Alas the warm weather has arrived here in Las Vegas -- a deceiving prelude to the blistering summer heat -- and I am looking 25 pounds thinner and feeling 25 pounds fatter in these new, unforgiving jeans. Whatever possessed me to buy a size small, I cannot say. Honestly, I feel like my ass is under attack by a boa constrictor. I keep thinking they'll stretch out a bit as I wear them, but thus far that is not the case. A better probability appears to be that the seams will just let go -- most likely somewhere in public, causing grown men to weep and children to be emotionally scarred for life. But alas, I am straying. As I was saying, the weather has warmed up and the pool is open, which leads to a whole new can of fat worms!
Now fat or thin (I go both ways), I have never been comfortable in a bathing suit. Like certain things that are best left unsaid, there are certain body parts that are better left unexposed. And even though the pool is surrounded by a stockade fence and I can swim in seemingly total privacy, there are the airplanes -- both commercial and Air Force -- that periodically fly overhead. Now granted, they are quite high, but if I can see them...! And let's be honest, dolls. Even from their high vantage point, I am sure they can tell the difference between a Semi and a Kia. So here are all these happy tourists flying into Las Vegas and the woe-begotten soul who gets the window seat looks down at me in the pool and shrieks, "Holy Shit! What's going on? I thought Las Vegas was filled with beautiful people. I saw it on the Travel Channel!"
To this I would have to say, "Honey... if there are so-called beautiful people in Las Vegas, they most assuredly came from someplace else." Finding a hottie in this town is comparable to finding somebody with a full set of teeth. There is an economy of both. Or maybe it's just my neighborhood that is a rife breeding ground for fat chicks with banana clipped perms, cut-off short shorts, too tight tees with Winnie the Pooh screens and knock-off Crocs. And their children -- they all have them, you know -- with their mullets and Nascar swag, are as dumb as stumps! It happens on a daily basis -- one just ambles in front of my car, dazed and drooling, forcing me to slam on the brakes. And still they meander along, oblivious to their near brush with death. Mikey Pump says it is because they can't hear the approaching vehicles over the foghorns -- disguised as thoughts -- that are constantly going off in their heads. Alas, it is certainly a far cry from what these unsuspecting tourists see on the Travel Channel! And as long as they do not venture off The Strip or get the window seat on the airplane, they can keep their mega-marketed Las Vegas illusion pristine.
Now sugar-babies, I just had an entertaining thought. What if some local Las Vegas bubba reads this, becomes offended and comes to my house to shoot me. They do sooooo love their guns, you know. And then I realize, they can't read!
I did have a point when I began, angel cakes, but now I've forgotten. I think, instead, I will go lounge in the pool for a bit and scare a few arriving tourists... sort of like the Welcome Wagon to Hell.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXOX
Friday, April 11, 2008
3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery... May 2nd
Daaaaarlings!
This is positively NOT the gig to miss since there will be so much going at at 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery on May 2nd. As always there will be the phenomenal work of artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra on display, plus work by guest artist Catalino "Cat" Jaques and a new guest artist who will be showing there for the first time... oh woe, babies, I don't know his name! In addition to all that, 3rd Street Revolution is hosting a debut of the works by Las Vegas photographer, Diane Hamburger. You don't want to miss this emerging talent! Plus there will be musical performances by us, Billy Dare & The Pumps, as well as newcomers Robert & Rachael Stokes, an acoustic duo. So plan to be there:
We are not planning to do the show at this gig, but will be trying out a bunch of new songs instead. Still, I need a fabulous outfit to wear and have been going absolutely mad trying to find it. I've shopped from Dillard's to Wal-Mart and everywhere in between, but to no avail. I even considered sewing something, but haven't been able to find a to-die-for pattern. And so I am totally panic-stricken. Horrors! I have but days to find the dress, let alone the accessories, lingerie and shoes to go with it. Oh precious ones, I am positively consumed with terror that I won't find the most marvelous outfit and will end up wearing something... worn! I can't even bear to think about it. I'm sure Prada or Chanel has something. Clearly I need a bigger budget or a private seamstress.
Alas, cupcakes, I really must get shopping. Hope to see you at the gallery!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
This is positively NOT the gig to miss since there will be so much going at at 3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery on May 2nd. As always there will be the phenomenal work of artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra on display, plus work by guest artist Catalino "Cat" Jaques and a new guest artist who will be showing there for the first time... oh woe, babies, I don't know his name! In addition to all that, 3rd Street Revolution is hosting a debut of the works by Las Vegas photographer, Diane Hamburger. You don't want to miss this emerging talent! Plus there will be musical performances by us, Billy Dare & The Pumps, as well as newcomers Robert & Rachael Stokes, an acoustic duo. So plan to be there:
3rd Street Revolution Art Gallery
224 Imperial Ave @ 3rd Street
Las Vegas, NV
Friday, May 2, 2008
7:30pm -- 10pm
We are not planning to do the show at this gig, but will be trying out a bunch of new songs instead. Still, I need a fabulous outfit to wear and have been going absolutely mad trying to find it. I've shopped from Dillard's to Wal-Mart and everywhere in between, but to no avail. I even considered sewing something, but haven't been able to find a to-die-for pattern. And so I am totally panic-stricken. Horrors! I have but days to find the dress, let alone the accessories, lingerie and shoes to go with it. Oh precious ones, I am positively consumed with terror that I won't find the most marvelous outfit and will end up wearing something... worn! I can't even bear to think about it. I'm sure Prada or Chanel has something. Clearly I need a bigger budget or a private seamstress.
Alas, cupcakes, I really must get shopping. Hope to see you at the gallery!
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
Monday, April 7, 2008
The Question Is Where?
Hey Dolls... Exactly what was Mikey Pump looking? This pic came from the video Kathy shot of our song, "He's The Bomb," at the Aruba Club last Friday night.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
My How Time Flies!
Daaaarlings!
How positively atrocious of me! I just cannot believe it has been nine months since my last post, but then, I’ve had much to do! Of course I won’t tax your sensibilities with tales of my ever-so-frustrating and absolutely endless search for the perfect underwire bra, or even go into detail over how I ended up getting hit in the face with a trash can lid and subsequently knocked on my ass on the sidewalk. And I definitely won’t tell you about how I wrecked Mikey Pumps’ car in the Smith’s parking lot on Nellis. Some things are just better left unsaid...
But I will ask you this, precious ones. If you said to your husband, "We’re spending far too much money on gas. Go out and buy something more economical," would you expect him to come home with a brand new motorcycle? Oh woe, but such is the tragic story of my life! I mean, absolutely everybody knows everyday is a bad hair day on a motorcycle. Then add to that the obscene action of climbing on and off the thing wearing a skirt and pumps and you can clearly imagine my horror! Every time I get on it, which is as infrequently as possible, I feel like I should be wearing tight pastel sweatpants with the words, "FAT ASS," emblazoned across the butt.
Anyway, angels, since my last post we’ve played some fun gigs at E-String, The Art Bar and 3rd Street Revolution Gallery and have more coming up:
The Aruba Hotel – Friday, April 4th
We’ll be at The Aruba on Friday, April 4th at 10pm as part of the Las Vegas N.O.I.S.E. Project’s First Friday After Party. The Aruba is located on 1215 S. Las Vegas Blvd.. a few blocks from the Stratosphere. This is THE place to be, so I hope to see you there.
3rd Street Revolution Gallery – Friday, May 2nd
This gallery just keeps getting more and more fabulous to the point where owners/artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra are seriously considering moving to a more spacious location! So if you plan on checking out this funky little gallery located on 224 Imperial Ave., on the corner of 3rd Street in the Las Vegas Arts District, why not do so on May 2nd. In addition to our performance, scheduled for 8pm, you can catch the debut exhibit of the extraordinary works of guest photographer, Diane Hamburger of Las Vegas and, of course, check out the amazing art of Orona and Ybarra. While it isn’t definite, in addition to Billy Dare & The Pumps, there may be other fabulous musical guests.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
How positively atrocious of me! I just cannot believe it has been nine months since my last post, but then, I’ve had much to do! Of course I won’t tax your sensibilities with tales of my ever-so-frustrating and absolutely endless search for the perfect underwire bra, or even go into detail over how I ended up getting hit in the face with a trash can lid and subsequently knocked on my ass on the sidewalk. And I definitely won’t tell you about how I wrecked Mikey Pumps’ car in the Smith’s parking lot on Nellis. Some things are just better left unsaid...
But I will ask you this, precious ones. If you said to your husband, "We’re spending far too much money on gas. Go out and buy something more economical," would you expect him to come home with a brand new motorcycle? Oh woe, but such is the tragic story of my life! I mean, absolutely everybody knows everyday is a bad hair day on a motorcycle. Then add to that the obscene action of climbing on and off the thing wearing a skirt and pumps and you can clearly imagine my horror! Every time I get on it, which is as infrequently as possible, I feel like I should be wearing tight pastel sweatpants with the words, "FAT ASS," emblazoned across the butt.
Anyway, angels, since my last post we’ve played some fun gigs at E-String, The Art Bar and 3rd Street Revolution Gallery and have more coming up:
The Aruba Hotel – Friday, April 4th
We’ll be at The Aruba on Friday, April 4th at 10pm as part of the Las Vegas N.O.I.S.E. Project’s First Friday After Party. The Aruba is located on 1215 S. Las Vegas Blvd.. a few blocks from the Stratosphere. This is THE place to be, so I hope to see you there.
3rd Street Revolution Gallery – Friday, May 2nd
This gallery just keeps getting more and more fabulous to the point where owners/artists Ezequiel "Lee" Orona and Juan Ybarra are seriously considering moving to a more spacious location! So if you plan on checking out this funky little gallery located on 224 Imperial Ave., on the corner of 3rd Street in the Las Vegas Arts District, why not do so on May 2nd. In addition to our performance, scheduled for 8pm, you can catch the debut exhibit of the extraordinary works of guest photographer, Diane Hamburger of Las Vegas and, of course, check out the amazing art of Orona and Ybarra. While it isn’t definite, in addition to Billy Dare & The Pumps, there may be other fabulous musical guests.
Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO
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