Don't Take Shit From Anybody!

Bonjour Swanksters!

Back when I first started performing on the gay club circuit, George Metoulis of the Front Runner in Manchester, NH gave me a piece of advice. It was, "Don't take any shit from a queer." Although it was a gay club, I don't think George used the word queer to indicate a person's sexuality, but rather one's disposition. Clearly what George meant was, "Don't take any shit from anybody. "With that said, let's move now to Friday night, December 8th, at the Take 1 Nightclub in downtown Las Vegas.

For those of you who don't already know, my band, Billy Dare & The Pumps is doing a dinner show there billed as, The Fabulous Miss Billy Dare Show. As it happened, Friday night was a special event -- a press and industry party featuring a complimentary buffet followed by performances by the dinner show acts -- The Fabulous Miss Billy Dare Show (which plays Tues-Thurs) and Bobby Ruffin's Tribute to The Drifters (which plays Fri-Sun). Talk about a mismatched bill!

In addition to press and industry, the public was also allowed in -- people who came to see us and people who came to see them. We started getting nervous, shortly after the first patron arrived. Todd, the guitarist, went out to the bar to bring drinks back to the dressing room. Along with the drinks, he returned with the comment, "I've never seen so many toupees in one place!" This was definitely not our usual following. Moments later Kathy, a friend of the band, came into the dressing room and said, "There are three young, beautiful boys at the bar." Now this was our usual following. As far as I could tell, there was not one common thread among our respective draws. To The Drifter's following, we might as well have been The Sex Pistols. To our following, The Drifter's might as well have been... well, The Drifters. It was bizarre!

Now dolls, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying anything about the quality of either act. My point is that while diversity should be embraced in life, it's not necessarily a good thing on a show bill. For example, with the first strum of Todd's guitar, a woman in a bouffant and a pained expression put her fingers in her ears. She was clearly there to see The Drifters. Meanwhile, when one of The Drifters asked something to the effect of, Where were you when you first heard this song?, the sarcastic comment heard was, "I wasn't even in the sperm sack yet." So naturally, daaaaarlings, you can imagine everybody was a bit on edge!

Alas, I drift... the point of my little tell-all was to point out that I did listen to George Metouis way back when and did follow his advice... right there on the showroom floor, dressed as my hillbilly character, Starlene, and among a full house of press, industry and dinner guests! While it would be very unprofessional of me to mention with whom I was involved during our mid-show altracation (not that it was all that professional of me to take the totally unprofessional bait offered in the first place), I will say it was an older man in the entertainment management business.

According to the deal, we were supposed to do an hour show and the The Drifters were supposed to go on and do their show. Our press came in, took their photos, etc., and some where heading out to file their stories... or probably just go home since nobody truly wants to be on assignment on a Friday night! Anyway, we were 15 minutes into the show and had just finished the hillbilly segment when I was heading across the showroom floor for a costume change. Suddenly this old guy comes at me demanding we cut our set short because... well, it had to do with our press and the other act's press. I must tell you now that this man was not in The Drifters and, while we're at it, state the act itself is a very talented, awesome group of guys. Anyway, I said I'd do two more songs and cut it short. Well, he started yelling, "I said, 'ONE MORE,' lady." Ooops! Big Mistake!

Words and phrases sprung from my lips with wild abandon... tired old queen, fossil, geezer, older than Moses... and then the more common words like, "Fuck off," and, "Get out of my face." Of course, I was in the middle of a costume change and, as much as I would have liked to stay and chat with this dude, I had to change into my costume for my closing numbers.

Back on stage I thank the audience and tell them, "We have two more songs." And who should appear, totally livid, but you know who. This time he comes right up to the stage and yells, "I said ONE more." So now I'm thinking that I could club him in the head with the base of my mic stand (a little trick I learned one night in Atlantic City that enabled me to take down belligerant drunk who was getting too close for comfort), but then I realized there's a 5 year mandatory jail sentance for hitting a senior citizen... and I wasn't doing time for this Bozo. So we did our two songs, said, "Thank you and goodnight," changed up and went to the bar.

When patrons and press came up to me afterward, their comments were not only on the show, but also on the showroom floor debacle. They were saying things like, "You have a lot of guts," and, "That guy's an asshole." So there you have it. For years I carried around a piece of advice that was given to me on the very night I debuted on the gay circuit and finally had to use it... Don't take shit from ANYBODY!

PS -- I guess I should mention that the old guy and I sort of made up at the end of the night, but as far as I'm concerned, he can forget about being included in our swanky society.

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by Miss Billy Dare
12/11/06
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