Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's Like Potato Salad...

Oy Vey, Cupcakes! I have waaaaaaaaaay too many blogs and web sites going! I have the band blog at: http://myspace.com/billydarethepumps and this one, plus ALL of the web sites! Now I am not exactly sure why I am the one in the band who is responsible for internet promotions. Certainly I'm not technologically gifted, nor do I particularly enjoy working in the cyberspace medium, but such is my lot in life... and it all came about much like it did when I became the official potato salad person at every freakin' family function.

It began when my now deceased Aunt Millie (who had always been the official potato salad person), cleverly crafted the ultimate deception when I asked her for her recipe. I suppose, in retrospect, I should have been suspect of both her eagerness to share her recipe as well as her insistence upon showing me how to prepare it... but I was young and naive. So, with quite a bit of fanfare, I got together with my Aunt Millie to learn the "secret" recipe. Shortly into the preparation, I realized there was no "secret" at all... it was just potato salad. But by that point the transition of responsibility had shifted. From that point onward, Aunt Millie was off the hook and I became the extended family's potato salad bitch.

Now you've all heard the phrase, "Do it to me once, shame on you. Do it to me twice, shame on me," haven't you? Well, what follows that? Do it to me three times and I'm a freakin' imbecile? If so, I'm a freakin' imbecile! You think I would have learned with the potato salad, but NO! Next came the jello shots. It began quite innocently. I was having a little soiree and thought it might be fun to offer jello shots to the guests. I'd never made, nor do I like, jello shots, but what the hell? It seemed like a good idea at the time.

So (and here is where I must warn that you can never be too careful in precedent-setting activities) I asked Miss Kathy to bring the jello shots... which she did. Well, honey-pies, everybody positively LOVED them! With each chortle of, "These are divine!," I would respond, "Miss Kathy made them." Unfortunately nobody seemed to hear that part. We were, after all, at MY soiree and... well, you get the idea... from the family potato salad bitch, I've become the official bringer of jello shots to every social gala, soiree and what-not.

Seriously babies, how many animals must sacrifice their hooves so our set can enjoy their vodka in gelatinous technicolor? Alas, as it happened with the potato salad and the jello shots, I am now the band's internet bitch!

Stay Fabulous!
Miss Billy XOXOXO

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